There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
so that wasnt chicken after all
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
