he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
