It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
