you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
