I heard we made out
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
