I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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