I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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