would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
