You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
