Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
