saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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