I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I think people are normalizing furries
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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