She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize