it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
The feeling are messing with the penis
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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