this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
