Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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