so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Randomize
