New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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