No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
