When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
