clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Sorry about my life...
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
