My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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