why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
