she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
