I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
