I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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