I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
