You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
It was like getting head from an anaconda
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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