About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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