Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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