We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
