I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I DEMAND FORESKIN
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
