it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize