Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
