Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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