fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
