If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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