i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Randomize