just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
