last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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