I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
