i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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