yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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