I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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