How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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