google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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