I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
