so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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