508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
