this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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