I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
