The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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