So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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