Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
