On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
