I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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