I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
