so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
