I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
