hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
